Do you ever "get away"?

Do you ever

If you're married, the Get Away can be a source of conflict.  Maybe the husband plans a golf outing with his buddies, maybe the wife plans a girl's weekend?  The partner who leaves is giddy as they exit and the remaining parent carries the full load.  Is that how it is for you?  

The moms I know have a heck of a time finding time for a Girl's Weekend.  It must be planned many months in advance and written in bold letters on the family calendar.  Tons of things must be done in preparation for this exit.  Dinners must be planned or even made in advance.  Groceries must be bought so that no one starves.  Laundry must be done so everyone has clean uniforms and underwear.  Rides to and from practices must be coordinated or at the very least, written down in a detailed itinerary.  Babysitters might be needed and grandparents may be begged to help.  When a mom finally gets two minutes to pack her own things, she throws whatever might be clean into a suitcase and runs out the door before anyone might need something, call her name, cry out or grab onto her leg.  

That's the same story for the dad's....right?  I know I'm coming from a place of bias, as I'm one of those moms I described.  But most dads I know just spend an hour or so packing what they need (much of it alcoholic in nature) and saunter out the door with kisses being blown at the kids and wife.  He doesn't worry while he's gone, he doesn't get frantic or sad phone calls from the kids, he knows his wife will handle everything at home without any problem.  He likely doesn't even have a hard time disconnecting his brain from "Dad Mode".

I think I'm speaking for most moms when I say that the "getting away" part of a girls trip is really hard.  The planning is super stressful and filled with frenetic errands and late nights thinking through every detail.  When she finally pulls out of the driveway, she might deal with feelings of guilt, especially if the kids are sad she is leaving.  That mom might also have trouble settling in to an adult conversation and find her mind drifting to her husband managing the crazy  schedule that the kids have.  Momma might get phone calls when someone can't find the right baseball field for practice, or panic when the kid's ride is late picking them up.  It can take some time for a mom to finally come to the point where she is just relaxing and doing what she wants with her freedom.  She reminds herself that the kids will survive if they miss a piano lesson or wear the wrong color uniform to a game.  They will make memories with dad during those times that they will remember fondly.  Mommy will realize she needs to recharge her batteries and that makes her better at her job.  Dad might have an understanding of how hard his wife works to keep the family running smoothly.  

Of course, there are exceptions to every situation. I'm speaking from my experiences and anecdotally of the other families I know.  I guess what is really important to remember is that everyone needs a chance to get away and reconnect with the sides of themselves that get put away when they are an involved and loving parent 24/7.  No one can do it all, not even the super moms out there.  I had a chance to go Up North with girlfriends recently and it was amazing.  I have amazing friends that also happen to be fantastic moms and we had a ton of fun.  Despite the stress of preparing to leave, it was wonderful being footloose and fancy free for a bit.  I hope you can plan a get away soon.  Whatever that looks like for you, I'm pretty sure you deserve it.



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  • 서울오피 8/2/22

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